Rock bottom in a hotel room (and other stories from Her Startup Life)

It’s October 2024. I’m sitting on the floor of a hotel room at a media conference, trying to breathe through an anxiety attack.

The night before, I’d stayed out too late drinking beers and arguing with a crew I’ll call “the media men.” We were eating oysters, talking shop, disagreeing (again) about how to save journalism. The politics of my industry were on display in the way that only happens after 11 p.m. I knew I was sabotaging my sleep before a big presentation, but in my industry — like many — so much business still happens in bars after hours. So there I was, trying to keep up, trying not to get left out, knowing full well I’d pay for it in the morning.

And oh, did I pay for it.

Indiegraf, the startup I founded to support independent news businesses, had just taken a major financial hit. A critical deal we’d been working on for over a year got delayed, and suddenly we were staring down a much shorter runway than planned. I was facing brutal decisions. I knew the moment I got home, I’d have to make them.

But, first, the big presentation was happening in less than an hour. Had I finished my slides?

And then, lying there on the floor, my phone buzzed.

It was my husband — also an entrepreneur, also at a conference on the other side of the continent. “Did you sort out childcare for after school today?”

I hadn’t. I forgot.

Our eight-year-old twins, Oscar and Louise, had no plan. I was three time zones away.

Cue the full-body dread. The breathless, chest-tightening panic. The feeling that everything was slipping, that there was just no way to keep it all going — the kids, the company, the mission, the side hustle, the marriage. All the balls in the air. Too many. Way too many.

I couldn’t possibly do it all. 

Except that I could. I knew that I could. And I knew that I would.

Because I’ve been here before. Too many times, honestly. So many times that I have built a playbook for it.

I got up, filled a hotel bucket with ice and water, and dunked my head in it. (Yes, really.)

It’s a reset trick I learned from a dear mentor. When your amygdala is in overdrive — flooded with adrenaline, tunnel-visioning on perceived threats — a primal cold shock can jar you out of it. You stop seeing only the threat and broaden your perspective so you can find the path forward again. 

That moment? That mashup of startup stress and real-life chaos? That’s what Her Startup Life is about.

This project is about the messy middle of what it really takes to build a mission-driven startup. We’re going to talk about money. We’re going to talk about parenting. We’re going to talk about what it means to pursue impact and make payroll — when the standard playbook doesn’t apply. We’re going to talk about mental health — not just pitch decks or productivity hacks (ok, maybe some of those too). This is a community where we can be real humans, who are building things that matter, while trying to hold some space for joy in the process.

When I started Indiegraf, my goal was to make news entrepreneurship more accessible. Because if we’re going to rebuild local journalism, it can’t just be for the privileged few with venture capital and no caregiving responsibilities. It has to be for all kinds of people, in all kinds of communities.In the past five years, I’ve met dozens of founders like me — people in the impact space, trying to do good and build sustainable businesses at the same time. People trying to hold onto their principles while making impossible trade-offs. People sacrificing their income, their security, and sometimes even their health in pursuit of something better.

This project is for them. For us.

And I want to hear from you: What are the topics we don’t talk about enough in the startup world? What’s your messy moment — the one where it all almost fell apart? What did you do to get through it? 

Submit your stories, your questions, your “someone please talk about this” ideas to herstartuplife@indiegraf.com. 

Let’s make this space together because we need impact entrepreneurs. I’m so glad you’re here.